I must get asked EVERYDAY “how do you feel about full quiver?”. WELL, I think it is great!!!
What is full quiver? It is based on:
Psalm 127: 3-5 (NIV)
3 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Do I think that means you should keep having babies under any circumstance? No, I don’t. I think that some folks may have a quiver that is full at one child while others may not ever feel that they have a completely full quiver. I felt like my quiver was full when we had number 6. My bestfriend felt that way at 3 children. I also think that you can fill your quiver with foster children, neighborhood children, adopted children and discarded children….believe me, there are plenty!
I was watching TV this morning as my sweet husband was getting ready for work. The Duggars were on – the NYC episode. I watched Michelle work with her children and I thought “there is a woman who is a mom just for the pure joy of being a mom”. It brought my heart joy. I have seen a few moms like this in my line of work. Moms who are just completely in love with being moms – the high mountain days and the low valley days. They love what they do and they are a blessing to their families and to everyone who is blessed to learn from them.
I have also seen moms who can’t stand their children and just get pregnant again because that is how they get attention. They are needy, their husbands don’t spend time with them or love on them unless they are pregnant and even though these women say they are upset when strangers say things to them like” don’t you know how that happens” deep down, that is attention too! Needing attention is NOT full quiver, it is filling a hole.
I think that whether you believe in the full quiver way or not – just having children is a personal, private decision that should be made between you, your husband and your God. It is not a decision that should be made because of finances, the size of your home, the type of car you drive, the college you went to or what your Momma has to say about it.
Jeni
January 10, 2011 at 10:30 am |
Love this post, honey. I’m so very glad we had our 6 kids. I cannot imagine what our life would be like if even one of them hadn’t been born.
January 10, 2011 at 3:08 pm |
I truly believe that children are a blessing from God. It is BECAUSE of my children that I have built 2 businesses & feel the need to give back to the world in a profound way.
They inspire me. They make me look at myself & say, “My kids look up to me. I have to be awesome. I have to attempt to emulate our Lord. They are going to want to be like me. I better be a great person!”
I also agree that the passage implies that each person has a full quiver with a certain amount of children. Our choice as a family is to avoid having babies & focus on work (family & business), yet we are about to have our 4th. Why? Because he has a plan for us, and I am open to that plan. He will reveal it over time.
I am not a believer of just having sex all the time & letting the babies flow. But that is because there is no way I could do that & be sane. There may be families out there that feel a calling to that way of life, but that wouldn’t ‘fill our quivers,’ and may infact drive us away from our Lord as the stress & anxiety may cause us to sin. (like drink heavily & use a lot of drugs….lol!)
I think that its selfish to restrict having kids because you are afraid of not being able to afford them or that you just want to party & not care of another human being. It is also selfish to get pregnant for attention.
I could keep going on, but I’ll stop for now.
January 19, 2011 at 3:54 am |
[...] A midwife I know blogged about the notion of a full quiver and what it means to her over on MommyMidwife’s Blog last week. I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly with her viewpoint on family size – that [...]
January 19, 2011 at 4:00 am |
Jeni, you pushed my button and got me started! I’ve blogged some more about this, but it will probably take 2 additional posts to get through what I have to say. There are serious problems with Quiverfull from a Christian and Biblical standpoint, it goes way beyond just choosing to have a large family. The movement is abusive and divisive to the body of Christ. Here’s my first post, and yes I linked to your post in it: http://www.melodieshouse.com/2011/01/full-quiver-quiverfull-part-1/